Billie Lourd shared a heartfelt tribute to her mother Carrie Fisher on the ninth anniversary of her death.
In her emotional tribute, Lourd reflected on the bittersweet aspects of grief. She shared a joyful moment spent on the anniversary with her father Bryan Lourd, and with her kids Kingston and Jackson, whom she shares with husband Austen Rydell.
“Watching my dad with my kids is one of the greatest joys I’ve ever known. The kind of joy that makes your face hurt because you can’t stop smiling, the kind of joy that makes you feel like your life is a movie you thought only existed in movies,” she wrote on Instagram on Dec. 27, recounting how her father and daughter interacted like two “old souls” as they walked to breakfast that morning.
But she realized the feeling was better than any movie. “I started thinking about how this joy wouldn’t be possible without my mom,” she continued. “This joy only exists because she existed. So even though she is not physically part of this joy, she is part of the reason for it. Even though she is not alive she lives on through this joy.”
Lourd explained that “grief takes on many shapes” and that it would change throughout the day of the anniversary of her mother’s death “because grief is never just one thing.” However, she said she was “relishing in this bittersweet grieful joy” of that moment spent with her family.
“As my mom wisely said, ‘Nothing is ever really over. Just over there.’ My mombys life isnt really over. Just over there — in my kids and in this joy I’m able to experience because of her. Thank you momby. I will never stop missing you.”
Her post included two photos taken 25 years apart in the same room. One snapshot features Fisher and Bryan with a young Billie, the other shows Bryan with his grandchildren.
Fisher died on Dec. 27, 2016 at age 60, after going into cardiac arrest while on a flight. Furthering the tragedy, Fisher’s mother, Debbie Reynolds, died one day later from a stroke at age 84.
Lourd marked the anniversary of her grandmother’s death on Sunday, sharing a photo of herself when she was a child alongside her mom and grandmother.
